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[Jah Linn]

I can't see the wall of house
I can't see the moon at skies
I'm blind but I can see you
I'm deaf but I can hear you
Awake I can see the dreams,
There's no my fault in this.
I'm dumb but you hear me do,
And that's what our power is!

the night is coming again
I'm drunk but I hear the rain
rain for us
we're here in my hollow house
there's nothing except of us
rain for us

believing in my bright star
you know that I go so far
I'm blind I can't see the stars
I'm drunk, but not off the war
you're watching the milky way
I'm night, you're the heart of day
I'm dream, I'm myth and I'm blind
but now I can see the light!

the night is coming again
I'm drunk but I hear the rain
rain for us
we're here in my hollow house
there's nothing except of us
rain for us

---


now it's long for my train in depot
I will go as soon as I can
wind is waiting for me if you understand
and my sister autumn is at the doorstep

after red and yellow days
the winter is going to begin
and to end... oh my woe, you're from wit
just keep smiling and do not be sad
I'll come back home at the end
with the strong and silver shield
or on the woe shield of the wit:
I will be back as soon as I can

tell me now that people are tired
of the pitiless plays of streets war
and they go to the powerful church
which is made from the broken hearts

after red and yellow days
the winter is going to begin
and to end... oh my woe, you're from wit
just keep smiling and do not be sad
I'll come back home at the end
with the strong and silver shield
or on the woe shield of the wit:
I will be back as soon as I can

I have a dream. There the love ruled the world.
I have a dream. There the world ruled by dream.
And the star there was shining so near...
I wake up and I see my woe from the wit.

after red and yellow days
the winter is going to begin
and to end... oh my woe, you're from wit
just keep smiling and do not be sad
I'll come back home at the end
with the strong and silver shield
or on the woe shield of the wit:
I will be back as soon as I can

Comments

[Lis_Uliss]

ну, со вторым-то понятно, "Красно-желтые дни" это. киношные.
даже с ритммикой кое-где норм, вроде
инглыш... не знаю, может, гляну потом, ага

[Jah Linn]

а первое разве нет?)))
кое-где?) я не пишу того, что нельзя спеть на оригинальную мелодию)

[Lis_Uliss]

Jah Linn, не знаю, пишешь ты или не пишешь то, что нельзя - я тебе скажу, что третий куплет слушать надо, а то мне он не прозвучал
а согласование да, есть блохи

[Jah Linn]

ну, он поётся)
какие конкретно блохи-то?

[Lis_Uliss]

just keep smile - например. тут нужна инговая форма, раз уж keep
keep smiling, сиречь

I will back home at the end
может, come не хватает? а то немного непонятен смысл

это навскидку
потом, как время будет, еще посмотрю, может

[Jah Linn]

тьфу, правда инг
i will be back home можно?

[Lis_Uliss]

Jah Linn, чего ж низя) хотя, я бы всё-таки взял come
ведь в оригинале не "окажусь дома", а "вернусь домой"

но хозяин - Гагарин, как говорится)

[Jah Linn]

ок, come)